Three Poems
denise h bell
vashti’s lament
i so wanted to have a womb bearing fruit
i so wanted him/her to suckle from my breast
when i was young i so wanted an almond joy
my daddy’s best friend gave me my favorite candy
all i had to do was to sit on
daddy’s best friend’s lap
he his hands began to poke hurt me
once i so wanted to teach my womb fruit to read write
i’d show him or her nothing but love
grandma was washing my panties
she screamed how you get them stains
you too young to menstruate
daddy came home got his glock
he blew aaron away
the judge set daddy free
cause he suffered temporary insanity
grandma said daddy was right to kill aaron
to this day
daddy walks around frustrated fighting mad
me i don’t have no more taste for almond joy
i’ll never bear fruit in my womb
i’ll never be able to give him/her my love
what sacred mountain
belief was once my canon on god’s sacred mountain
belief begat faith
faith begat trust
trust begat honesty
honesty let me embrace all with an open mind
an open mind begat thievery trouble trauma
my sacred mountain led me to the valley
of waste weariness worry
enduring tears
kiesha’s blues
smoke the pipe let me dwell in my so called deep thoughts
foggy poisoned thoughts built a monument to my mind
a mind that rationalized a strange sense of values
a mind that began crying why me what now
smoke the pipe built a sham lurid monument to my mind
a mind that’s drowned in k2’s frustrations ferocious fears
a mind that could no longer ignore vicious truths
i didn’t want to listen see hear truths
truths replaced smoke pipe illusions brought about by them
i’m doomed my new reality screams unlike jesus you won’t be risen to a new life
face it baby you’re doomed to dwell in nothingness
caused by your addicted scrambled fried brain bullshit
i so wanted to have a womb bearing fruit
i so wanted him/her to suckle from my breast
when i was young i so wanted an almond joy
my daddy’s best friend gave me my favorite candy
all i had to do was to sit on
daddy’s best friend’s lap
he his hands began to poke hurt me
once i so wanted to teach my womb fruit to read write
i’d show him or her nothing but love
grandma was washing my panties
she screamed how you get them stains
you too young to menstruate
daddy came home got his glock
he blew aaron away
the judge set daddy free
cause he suffered temporary insanity
grandma said daddy was right to kill aaron
to this day
daddy walks around frustrated fighting mad
me i don’t have no more taste for almond joy
i’ll never bear fruit in my womb
i’ll never be able to give him/her my love
what sacred mountain
belief was once my canon on god’s sacred mountain
belief begat faith
faith begat trust
trust begat honesty
honesty let me embrace all with an open mind
an open mind begat thievery trouble trauma
my sacred mountain led me to the valley
of waste weariness worry
enduring tears
kiesha’s blues
smoke the pipe let me dwell in my so called deep thoughts
foggy poisoned thoughts built a monument to my mind
a mind that rationalized a strange sense of values
a mind that began crying why me what now
smoke the pipe built a sham lurid monument to my mind
a mind that’s drowned in k2’s frustrations ferocious fears
a mind that could no longer ignore vicious truths
i didn’t want to listen see hear truths
truths replaced smoke pipe illusions brought about by them
i’m doomed my new reality screams unlike jesus you won’t be risen to a new life
face it baby you’re doomed to dwell in nothingness
caused by your addicted scrambled fried brain bullshit